Monday, September 25, 2006

Love...

Here is my first attempt to write a poem...

I wrote your name in the sand,
but the tide washed it away.

I wrote your name in the clouds,
but the wind blew it away.

I wrote your name in the water,
but the sun scorched it away.

I wrote your name in the air,
but the cyclone swirled it away.

I wrote your name in the fire,
but the rain flung it away.

I wrote your name in my heart,
but then I realized, you stole my heart away!!

PS: Check out for tamil version in the comments!!

Disclaimer: Seems like there are few poems in the internet which carry the words "I wrote your name..." but they are purely coincidental.

7 comments:

Praveen Kumar said...

Good one...simple and beautiful.

I feel some change required in last 2 lines.

I tried to write..
Only then I realized...

Keeps tense consistency.

Ramkumar said...

first poemndra naala manichu vidraen.
love poem is not good to make impact. (if that is what ur impression) believe me - try poverty, war, religion etc.

kart said...

@ Praveen: Thanks da machi.
You are rite da. But, I left the last 2 lines for the sake of paragraph llelism.

@Ram: Those topics are bit tough da. Anyway, let me try it! :-)

ThaniX said...

Looks like a *stolen from somewhere* poem, though! ;-)

kart said...

Good Thanix. This is the poem that I wrote on behalf of my room mate to impress his Girl Friend.

kart said...

Here is the tamil version of it (but slight modification at the end )

Un periya na ezthivechan naan kadal man melai...
Ana kadal vanthu isthinu poiduchu...

isthinu...isthinu...isthinu.....poiduchu...

Un periya na ezthivechan naan megathulaa...
Ana kaathu vanthu isthinu poiduchu...

isthinu...isthinu...isthinu.....poiduchu...


Un periya na ezthivechan naan thanni melai...
Ana antha sooriyan vanthu isthinu poiduchu...

isthinu...isthinu...isthinu.....poiduchu...

Un periya na ezthivechan naan kathula...
Ana antha soravali vanthu isthinu poiduchu...

isthinu...isthinu...isthinu.....poiduchu...

Un periya na ezthivechan naan neerupula...
Ana antha mazhai vanthu isthinu poiduchu...

isthinu...isthinu...isthinu.....poiduchu...

Un periya na ezthivechan naan en mansula...
Ana pakathuveetukaran unna isthinu poithanae!!!..

avan koda nee odi poithiye...adi padu paavi!!!!!


Soon i plan to write a RAP song on this poetry.... :-)

Iday said...

why am i reminded of
kottum mazhai kaalam
uppu vikka ponen...

kaattradikkum neram
maavu vikka ponen...


huh???